Community: Humor

YOU LAUGH YOU LOSE #46

A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building ajar. He let the dog out his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek.

Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. ... After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further and saw the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."
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My sister Julie is a nontraditional college student. She returned after having raised her children, still lacking a PE credit. The class she was advised to take? Weight lifting!

After, the initial shock and orientation wore off and the first class began, she called me bemoaning her fate. "Sis, I knew I was in deep trouble when I broke a hard sweat and was out of breath. And, we were just doing the warm-up stretches!"
...
...

The continuing saga of my nontraditional (lot older) college bound sister: Having survived the first week of initial weight lifting class. Julie called me asking if I still had our mother's walker. She wanted to use it for her PE class!

The reason? When Julie did the lunges for warm-ups she couldn't get back up!
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TRY NOT TO LAUGH #4

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Peter, Jesus, and another man were all playing golf one day. Peter took his turn, and he hit the ball right into a pond.

It was Jesus' turn next, and he hit a perfect hole in one.

It was now the third person's turn. He carefully evaluated this shot and prepared to swing. He hit the ball into the lake too, but right before it sank, a fish caught the golf ball in its mouth. An eagle then swooped down and plucked the ball right out of the fish's mouth. The eagle soared towards the hole and dropped the ball in it.
...
Jesus grinned, looking at the man, and said, "Nice shot, Dad!"
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Because of its anti-social behavior and its outmoded appearance, the peacock was canceled in 2021.